Indian Sunburn

We don’t advocate doing this but sometimes you need a little more uumph in your indian sunburn. Say, for example, that your girlfriend is dancing with a douchebag at some club with greased back hair and the top three buttons undone. Here’s a secret method that’s been “burning” up the clubs in recent years.

1)see your girlfriend dancing with grease monkey, who continues to try to put his hands on her even though she keeps taking them off.

2)Take bottle of Nair out of pocket and loosen the top for easy access later. Keep bottle in left hand or left pocket for easy retrieval.

3)Walk calmly up to them, patient, yet deliberate, sort of like Jason from Halloween.

4)Smile and make eye contact. Stick out your hand, like you want to shake the dude’s hand for being such a cool guy and dancing with your girlfriend.

5)Point at something behind douchebags head. He’ll turn around.

6)Take out bottle of Nair, grab dude’s arm with right hand and squeeze Nair onto it with your left hand.

7)Hold on tight and twist your hands like you’ve never twisted before.

8)The nair will start to dissolve his arm hair. This, combined with the massive indian sunburn you’re giving will burn like hell and sting like a swarm of a million bees.

9) Walk off, girl on arm and claim victory. You’ve just completed you’re first “Nair Burn.” If your girl gives you any lip, give her the Nair Burn, too.

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