Indian Sunburn

This picture of Kim Kardashian with a sunburn recently surfaced on the Internet. She was reportedly sun tanning and wearing a bikini and sunglasses when she fell asleep. Oops. She definitely should have been wearing sunscreen, too.

Don’t be an idiot and fall asleep in the sun or stay out too long without the right sun tan lotion. It’s dangerous and you could end up looking as bad (or worse) as Kim Kardashian with her sunburn.

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While there is almost no chance VP candidate Joe Biden will get burned by Sarah Palin in tonight’s debate, we thought it would be fun to look at how Biden would look if he was burned by a more formidable opponent…THE SUN.

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Dear Sarah Palin,

Thanks for all you’ve done in this election. I know it was a hard fought battle, but someone has to lose. Looks like it will be you and McCain. While you never answered any questions at press conferences about your sun tan lotion use (or any questions at all), I still hope you’re having a good vacation in Tahiti. Don’t forget to wear sunscreen with spf of 15+ so you won’t look like this (see below). Happy times!

What celebrities do YOU want to see with a sunburn?

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We’re continuing our Celebrity Sunburn Series this week. Everyone wants to know what certain celebrities look like in certain ways: drunk, naked and sunburned (though not necessarily all three at once). Here’s what Mr. Tom Cruise himself could look like if he was sunburned. Sexy, huh?

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What would a Gorilla look like on a surfboard? How many plastic surgeries has Tara Reid had? What would John McCain look like if he got sunburned?

It’s burning questions like these that keep most of us awake at night. Of course we may never know the true answer to these questions but we can speculate, right (using bad graphic representations)?

McCain Sunburned!? Must have forgotten to use sunscreen in a few key areas…

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This guy either got punked by his friends or he punked himself. I’m not sure which is is, but why does he look so proud that he has a suntan lotion handprint on his chest while the rest of him is sunburned? He obviously punked himself in the first place by not wearing suntan lotion on most of his body. This guy deserves a big Indian Sunburn on his burned arms. Then maybe he’d learn something. That’s probably asking too much though…

Keep getting burned and wearing those awesome fruit of the loom boxers, man. Hope that gets you far in life.

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As Americans are bombarded 24/7 with election news, scandals, opionions and smear, there is one question that is on everyone’s mind. Does mulatto Senator Obama get sunburned easily? We all know old fogie McCain avoids sunlight like the devil or his skin will shrivel up like an old prune.

But does young Barack Obama apply a healty lathering of spf 100 before he goes to frolick at the beach?

This is an important consideration in the presidential election. Strife and uncertainty in the Middle East means that we need a president who can go hang out in the sun-blistering Middle East with oil tycoons to make sure we have a steady supply of oil.

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Well the summer is here, its hot as ever and along with that comes Sunburn. As you escape the winter duldrums don’t forget to wear sunscreen

It is nearly impossible to completely protect the body from sunlight, especially during a summer vacation.

“Clothing should cover as much skin as possible,” says Heidrun Holstein, a medical specialist at Germany’s consumer center in Karlsruhe. She recommends wide-brimmed hats and long-sleeved shirts made of light material and UV-proof material that lets in only a fraction of sunlight.

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Most clinical signs of the wort are caused by photosensitisation. Plants may induce photosensitisation from chemicals contained in ingested plants, or secondary photosensitisation from plant-associated damage to the liver. Araya and Ford explored changes in liver function and concluded there was no evidence of Hypericum-related effect on the excretory capacity of the liver, or any interference was minimal and temporary. However at high and continuous dose rates changes in blood plasma indicative of some liver damage have been observed.

Photosensitisation causes skin inflammation by a mechanism involving a pigment or photodynamic compound, which when activated by a certain wavelength of light leads to oxidation reactions in vivo. This leads to lesions of tissue, particularly noticeable on and around parts of skin exposed to light. Lightly covered or poorly pigmented areas are most conspicuous. Removal of affected animals from sunlight results in reduced symptoms of poisoning.

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This is what happens when you repeatedly ignore warnings that you might be getting burnt–redness, pain, sun blisters, the inability of your skin to ever moisten itself. Leather skin is an understated disease, and this is the most disgusting case of leather skin I’ve ever seen.

The entire world’s supply of aloe could not help this lady out. I’m not sure which is more done- crispy bacon or her skin. If I had to choose between having the dryest elephant’s skin as my own for the rest of my life or touching that lady’s skin, I’d choose the elephant skin. I see that and I think of the scene in Christmas Vacation where they’re at Christmas dinner and they cut into the turkey. It emits puffs of smoke and hisses, because they burnt the hell out of it. This lady’s skin is so nasty, I don’t even think Uncle Eddy would eat it.

Save your skin. Use suntan lotion with an SPF of 15+. Boycott real sunburns and only practice Indian Sunburn!

A good Indian Sunburn is like a strike from a rattlesnake. Quick, painful, and definitely leaves a mark. Real sunburn, on the other hand, is not good. If you get real sunburned enough over the years your skin will look like this. And no one will touch you the rest of your life.

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